


To Have and Have Not

by hyi



Series: The Real Zootopia [1]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Blood, Gore, Graphic Depiction of Suicide, Suicide, super graphic depiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-10 09:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17423531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyi/pseuds/hyi
Summary: (reuploaded,  most of the "copyrighted" content should be removed so stop bitching at me)Officers Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde are coming back from their last call for the night, when the dispatcher's voice crackles over the radio.





	1. Chapter 1

    Twelve thirteen AM. The dull phosphor green glow of the center console clock was the only thing really illuminating the squad car at this time of night. Officer Nicholas Wilde, a recent addition to the ZPD, rode along on the outskirts of the city center with his partner, seasoned veteran cop Judy Hopps. As they cruised along on the dimly lit road, heading back to the station to finally clock out for the night, the CB radio system in the car screeched static into the quiet cabin. Judy jumped at the sudden intrusion, huffing to herself as she quickly scanned for the time. 

    “Damnit.” she sighed, taking a quick glance at her partner while she listened to the radio call. The static-y, bitcrushed voice on the other end spoke of a 10-56, a suicide.

    Nick’s eyes widened in disbelief as the dispatcher on the radio briefly explained the situation. A teenage snow leopard had apparently blown his brains out in his bedroom, with a 12-gauge taken from his father's gun cabinet. The dispatcher read out the address, 1256 Siber Boulevard, requesting backup. The red fox looked over at his bunny partner, as if he were asking her if it was some sick joke, a lump rising in his throat as he began to speak but couldn't find the words in time. 

    “You can stay in the car, if you want.” The bunny added after a while of silence, taking the nearest exit to enter Tundratown center, noticing her partner's obvious discomfort with the whole thing.

    “N-no, it's fine Carrots.” Nick replied quickly. “It's just that….He was still just a kid, y'know? He didn't even see his 18th birthday and-” 

    “Nick, please. You're a cop, not a member of his family. You've gotta learn to keep those feelings down inside yourself and act professional in these situations,” Judy interrupted, now feeling a little uneasy as she took a right turn towards the intersection of Siber and Rossnye. 

    “When you're at home, you can cry over it, but now’s not the time for waterworks.” she added, quickly regretting her words as she noticed how harsh and uncaring they sounded. The young red fox opened his maw, ready to curse her partner six ways to Sunday for being so insensitive, but quickly stopped as he saw the overwhelming number of red and blue flashing lights in front of a small apartment complex. 


	2. Chapter 2

   “1256 Siber. We're here. You gonna stay here?” Judy asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt and began to open the driver side door of the cruiser. Wordlessly, Nick followed suit, and the two of them stepped out of the vehicle and over to Chief Bogo, the towering buffalo turning to them with a grim look about him.

   “I'm warning you in advance, Judy. It ain't pretty in there.” The chief spoke, his words turning to fine mist barely visible in the midnight air.

   “I think we'll be okay, Chief, thanks.” the bunny cop replied, her partner not looking very excited for what was to come. The police chief nodded, escorting them past the police tape. As they were walking up to the sidewalk, Nick had turned his head and noticed a middle-aged snow leopard, in full on hysterics while being consoled by who he imagined was her husband and another officer, sitting on the sidewalk a good five feet away. The male snow leopard’s blank, dead expression while hugging his wailing wife were enough to make Nick shiver, and the knot in his stomach grew even tighter than it already was.

 

   A short walk up two flights of stairs, and the trio arrived at the apartment in question, it's door slightly ajar as the buffalo pulled it fully open for the fox and bunny.

 

   “Coroner hasn't arrived yet, body's still in there. Just be careful with it, Hopps.” That wasn't really what the bunny wanted to hear, but she sighed and thanked the chief anyway. There was a somber atmosphere just in the kitchen and living room of the small apartment, two dejected looking wolf officers stood around near the kitchen table, seeming as if they didn't really know what they were doing here in the first place. The soft, distant *click* of a digital camera alerted the bunny's sensitive ears.

   “After you, Carrots.” her partner urged, hints of anxiety in his words. Judy sighed yet again, taking quiet steps towards the hallway, three of the four doors in it wide open. As she walked past them, she took a quick peek at their contents.

 

   The first door on the left seemed like a closet or pantry of some sort, dried and pre-packaged foods lining the shelves along the entrance, but further back was an opened safe. The safe contained what looked to be mainly ammunition for a hunting rifle, but buckshot containers were littered around the safe, one of them opened and upturned at the entrance, it's contents spilled onto the floor. On the back left of the safe was a standard issue hunting rifle, but on the left seemed to be empty space. Judy inferred that the shotgun that the teen had used to…take his own life would fit in the right corner of the safe.

   The second door on the right was a bedroom, plain wallpaper and a fancy-looking curtain lining the wall. Judy noticed that the blankets of the queen-sized bed were upturned, both pillows lying haphazardly on the floor. Judy stopped short of the second door on the left, mentally preparing herself for what she was about to see.

 

   Judy stepped forwards and turned left into the room, her partner tailing close behind her. This room was also a bedroom, a dark blue coat of paint applied to the walls. The warm glow of a bedside lamp illuminated the room, a shelf with several nondescript books near the slight cracked window looking out onto the alleyway below. Unclean laundry and junk food wrappers littered the floor. A small laptop sitting on a desk in the corner of the room playing rap music at a low volume accompanied the sound of a DSLR taking pictures as the crime scene investigator, a rhino wearing a full hazmat suit, finished up his job for the night.

 

_“ Roll up, and I'll light a fucking match to the gas, no gas mask…”_

 

   Judy turned to her right, and she froze. Laying on the bed, red and grey matter splattered on the wall behind it, was the young snow leopard.

His arms tightly gripped the 12-gauge shotgun to his chest, no doubt suffering from the effects of rigor mortis by now. He was wearing a plain black t-shirt and grey shorts, the latter of which was currently soaked with urine.

His white dotted fur was stained a deep burgundy all the way down to his stomach, as was his pillow and most of the sheet on the bed. His claws were barred on both his paws and feet.

 

_“Wrists glisten cause of slits, heads missing so I split, driven apathy, actually traffic, no tragic car accidents happen…”_

 

   The snow leopard’s face was enough to make the young fox's stomach do front flips, quickly shouting out an excuse to his partner as he ran back into the kitchen, bending over the counter and wrenching his lunch up into the sink.

The young mammal’s neck was deeply stained with clotting blood, as was the lower part of his head and chin. The upper half of his head was a completely different story. The violent entry of the buckshot into his cranium warped and distorted the flesh and fur on his face into an unrecognizable mass of blood and mangled dermis.

You could see the virtually vaporized inside of the head cavity. The buckshot had unsurprisingly distributed most of the snow leopard’s brain onto the wall behind him. His snout was nowhere to be seen, a few of his incisors were lodged into the mass of quickly dying flesh.

 

_“Give me one more time I can pour up. Got the wheels spinning but my blood's thinning, Oddy telling me that it's time to quit it but I can't, I'll faint…”_

 

   The two “sides” of the teen leopard’s eviscerated face could be seen sloping into the gore, a sort of twisted nightmare doorway to your worst fear of dying. One of his piercing blue eyes was missing from it's socket, no doubt destroyed by the shotgun blast. His ears were perked up, blood oozing out of them down the side of the teen’s head, as if he were listening closely for something before ending it all.

 

_“Just one lil' taste real quick, so I get straight. I'm so in debt with this shit; I can't pay. I'm so in love with this shit; I can't think, mind gone blank…”_

 

   The bunny blinks. Her attention moves away from the body to the neat line of athletic awards on the 2nd shelf near the window. She can barely make out one of the inscriptions on a trophy which looked like a model of a young wolf holding a basketball. “Artyom Navik - Most Points Scored in One Season”

   Judy had noticed more things on the desk near the small laptop. A stack of papers, the one on top bearing what seemed to be an insignia of a local sports team. A small baggie of a white powder, some of which was still sitting on the desk, a neat line of powder removed from the center of the dusting. A rolled up bill, the value of which couldn't be made out. An open pocket knife, the blade of which was still wet with blood.

 

_“Sold my soul to Satan waiting in line at the mall. I got six phones, I got six homes, I got a grave six feet tall…”_

 

   Judy's sensitive ears could barely make out a conversation out in the kitchen. “...so young…was gonna be a star…fucking tragic…” The bunny turned her attention back at the snow leopard, making her way toward the bed, being careful not to step in the large puddles of blood that were pooling beside it.

   The desensitized bunny took one last look at the body in front of her, before noticing a folded up piece of paper laying next to the boy, stained with his blood. She gingerly picked the paper up and unfolded it, walking over closer to the light to read it's neatly handwritten contents.

 

“ _To whom it may concern,_

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry for everything._

_I'm sorry for every fuck-up, for every raised voice, for every slammed door._

_I realize now that I was, and still am, selfish._

_You had placed your trust in me, giving me the motivation and chance to do great things. I'm not even out of high-school, yet I have colleges lining up to give me scholarships for my athletic achievements. I broke that trust with my selfish actions. Failing drug tests, failing classes, and failing you._

_Mother, I apologize for failing to live up to my promises. I apologize for deceiving you left and right, breaking down your trust in me again and again. I wish I could've been a better son to you, you deserve it._

_Father, I apologize for becoming a thieving low-life from who I once was. Maybe if I hadn't agreed to play sports, things would be different._

_Maybe if I hadn't let the wrong crowd drag me in, I wouldn't be sitting here writing the fifth iteration of this letter._

_But now I must bid you adieu, for my time here is running short. I will have felt no pain before, during, or after. I will finally be at peace with myself, my demons no longer attacking me. I cannot put into words how much I love the both of you._

_Goodbye._

_-Artyom_ ”

 

   As the bunny had read the final line of the note, she felt a single tear run down her cheek. She thought of the boy's last moments, how maybe he would have felt at peace with himself and the world. She knew that this didn't have to happen, that the boy could've been saved. But nobody had paid attention to the warning signs. Or maybe they had, and they simply disregarded them. She folded up the note and slid it calmly into the pocket of her jeans. Bitter, angry tears now streamed down her face as she turned to leave the room, bumping into her fox partner that was more or less finished vomiting his insides out.

   “Carrots?” Nick called out her, his demeanor instantly changing to that of concern. Judy ignored him, opting to quickly pad down the stairs of the complex and out to her patrol car, wrenching the door open and slamming it closed as she slid inside, her form crumpling down into the faux leather seat of the car.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song used - "I Sold My Soul to Satan Waiting In Line at The Mall" by $uicideboy$


End file.
